Divorce can be a very stressing experience, not only for you, but also for your kids. But sometimes, divorce is inevitable, and even though it’s hard in some cases it is a better path to take rather than fighting every day with your spouse.
Your kids will be the party that gets affected the most by your divorce. Suddenly, their mother and father is no longer together. Suddenly, they have two Christmases, two Thanksgivings and suddenly, they feel like they have to take sides. Divorce can be very traumatic for your kids. But if you handle it well, your children can lead a normal life without the shadow of their parent’s divorce haunting them all the time. Here are some things you can do to help your precious kids coping with their parent’s divorce.
Explain It in Words that Can Be Understood by Them
Telling your kids why mommy and daddy can no longer be together certainly will be very difficult. Your kids will also find it hard to understand, especially if they are still very little. So, you need to explain the situation and what will happen due to the divorce in a language that can be easily understood by kids their age.
Don’t sugarcoat things and say that nothing will change because many things will change. But you also have to tell them that no matter what happen they are loved and you will work hard to make them happy.
Don’t Fight in Front of Your Kids
Divorce can really make you tense and everything your spouse does will be so wrong in your eyes. But no matter how angry you are, make sure you never fight and argue in front of your kids. Of course you don’t have to fake things and be lovey dovey when your kids around. Just make sure you keep your head cool because research has shown that kids will find it hard to cope with divorce when their parents are fighting in front of them.
Make a Smooth Transition
Your children’s life will change when their father and mother are divorced. Things will be very hard for them when one of their parents is starting to move out, or worse when they have no choice but to move to other place to follow one of you.
Facing these changes will not be easy for your kids so you need to make the transition as smooth as possible. At first, you might notice that your children are throwing tantrums or becoming very sad. But it is normal. Just take everything slowly and guide them through all the way. Find counselor or professional help for your kids if necessary.
Give Them Children Books about Divorce to Read
Adults and kids sometimes are not in the same wave length and kids find it hard to communicate their feelings to their parents. To help them cope, you can give them some fiction books that explore divorce issue. The books will help the kids address their problem, tell them that they are not alone, and there will always be a helping hand for them if they need it.